After watching the documentary “Hero’s Journey” I wrote about my own journey…
We don’t have just one hero’s journey. We have multiple, it can be a journey of a few days, just a couple of months, or a journey of years. Looking at it that way, I’ve had so many of these journeys already. Multiple times I’ve walked that circle. But there are a few circles that really stand out over the past few years… So let’s dive in – shall we?
After university, I got my first official job at the place I did my graduation internship. I liked it, I had the opportunity to be creative and learn about traveling and the world. Heck, I even got to travel to Morocco for my job! After working there for a couple of months I started to feel bored though. Or well, bored might not be the right word, something was off. I started to feel like it was the same thing, over and over, standing still, not really going forward. So when they offered me a permanent contract I said no. Maybe it was fear, fear of settling down, and missing out on other things and opportunities in life. I just had this feeling of nope – so I quit my job, left the big city, and moved back home to my parents.
This was around summertime so I decided it was the perfect time to do some traveling. Maybe that would clarify somethings for me to figure out what my next step is. I went to Spain and Ireland for two months, doing volunteer work and a language course, exploring and just experiencing life. This was the first time I went for a longer period of time by myself and really with the idea of meeting new people, sleeping in hostels, etc. I loved the experience, I had some shitty situations, felt awkward and alone a few times, but other times was also amazed how nice people could be and how easy it is to meet new people and get a glimpse of someone else’s life. When I came back home I was thinking, what the fuck do I do with my life now. Obliviously, after traveling there wasn’t just magically a next step showing up. And that’s when I met a guy, we connected really well so we started dating which turned into a relationship. He had his own business, which went well although he really didn’t have all of his shit figured out, so I thought: If he can do it, I can do it! I started working for myself. Funny enough, a day after deciding this I got a phone call from the company I worked for asking me if they could hire me as a freelancer.
About 3 years ago, I was living together with my boyfriend when things went south, we broke up, and I had to leave the house and move back in with my parents. I already saw it coming and knew it was for the best, but still, the actual moment it happened was a shock and painful. I remember getting some of my essentials, saying goodbye to him (which was the last time I saw him), and getting in the car to drive home. That weekend my parents drove back to the house with me to pack everything up and I closed that door behind me. I was devastated. A kind of pain I hadn’t experienced before. So I moved back in with my parents, going through what felt like depression (but never really was diagnosed but okay whatever), not having any friends or any reason to leave the house (since I work from home) – not knowing what the fuck I had to do with my life now. I’ve always said I wanted to move to another country, you know, do the ‘digital nomad thing. So, I thought, why not. I had nothing holding me down at that moment anyway. So why the fuck not.
And that’s what I did. I moved to Barcelona. Beginning of 2019. It was scary, it wasn’t always fun, but in the end, it was the best decision I’ve made. I learned so much about myself, about who I am, making new friends, putting myself out there. It was so outside of my comfort zone, but I loved it. I learned I love and need a dynamic life, I need to be active, I love meeting new people, going to random meetups, talking to everyone, exploring new areas, and hearing about other people’s experiences. Drinking and partying – a lot, going out a couple of nights a week, just having fun, enjoying life. After a couple of months though, I started to feel like something was off. I felt like I already had grown a lot, learned my lessons that were there, and I felt like maybe I needed to move on. Maybe it was fear telling me that, fear of settling down, fear of missing out on other things, I didn’t think too much about it at that time – I just had this gut feeling so I decided to leave. And so I moved back home, again.
Now here I was, back home living with my parents. Having learned so much, having loved my time in Barcelona – sometimes wondering why the fuck did I want to leave my life was so good?! Knowing it was time to take the next step, but what’s that next step? What the fuck do I do with my life now?
So, you can probably guess what I did by now, right?! I packed up my stuff again and this time took the plane to Bali, the ultimate ‘digital nomad paradise’. First time in Asia and the first time out of Europe alone. This was the beginning of 2020. Life was fun, made new friends, went out for dinner almost every night, explored such a different culture and lifestyle, met so many new people, such different people than in Barcelona. This time, it wasn’t about fun and going crazy, but about work and connecting with people that work chose to work as an entrepreneur as well. After two months though, again, I started to feel something was off. It just didn’t feel right. We, as rich western people living in this third world country, going out for dinner every night to this super hip Instagrammable places while most of the local people could never afford to eat there. Almost every day, we were sitting somewhere for coffee or food, and I looked around me, and every customer there, was a ‘tourist’. My friends told me to just enjoy it, enjoy life, enjoy Bali. But I just simply couldn’t close my eyes, so I thought maybe I should move to another place less touristy, maybe another country… At the same time, I wasn’t loving my work anymore so I thought maybe I should just take a break and go live somewhere in the middle of nowhere with some local people and do some volunteer work. Why the fuck not, right?! BUT THEN – Covid happened. Family got worries and asked me to come home. So I did. Once again, I moved back home.
Choosing to go into a two-week self-quarantine in a nice beachside apartment. I found myself sitting on the couch, loving the sun on my face, loving my own (temporary) place. But again thinking; What the fuck should I do with my life now?! I started to feel a bit lonely so logically, I download Tinder to chat with some random people. Connected with this one guy, Maikel. I didn’t set out to find anyone for me it was just casually chatting so I didn’t think too much of it at the beginning. But, when I send him a photo of my beer and he was jealous, I jokingly(but also not really) invited him over. And then… I kid you not. 3 hours later, we were sitting on the beach drinking a beer. And I KID YOU NOT – 1.5 weeks later, I moved into his place to live together.
And here I am now. Almost 6 months later. Having loved every single moment of the past months, of getting to know him, having so many good conversations, fun experiences, and exploring life together, not wanting to change anything in that.
But here I am, sitting on the couch in what is now our(kind of) house… thinking; What is my next step? What the fuck should I do with my life now?!
Those new journeys in life… might feel like magic sometimes showing up and presenting the opportunity. But it isn’t. It is about being open, being curious about new things, taking on any opportunity, and just going for it. I know it might be scary… Just do it. Because why the fuck not?!