Week 5 of the Mentorship Mastermind. Topic: Vision. What is my vision? I don’t know. Where do I want to be in a year? I don’t know. How do I want my life to look like in 5 years? I don’t know. In 10 years? I don’t know. What do I see in my life? I don’t know. When I’m old and grey, what do I want to have accomplished? I don’t know. What is my destination? What are my next steps, how do I get there? Where is there?
In the past 5 years, I’ve done those things that I wanted to do. That I had in my vision. I wanted to travel, be a digital nomad, work on my own business. So I did. Although it wasn’t much travelling as it was living in two other countries. And it wasn’t so much working on my business, as it was just working from my laptop.
When I was doing this, I felt like something was off, like it wasn’t really were I was supposed to be. Like I was living someone else’s life. Someone else’s dream. On paper, this seems like the perfect dream life right?! Partying in Barcelona, doing yoga in Bali, working from my laptop, making new friends, experiencing life… Well, I guess it was. But that is it. It was a dream. It didn’t feel real. And not the good kind.
Now, being back, with those experiences under my belt and having been where my vision led me. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do or where I’m supposed to be next. I don’t believe there is just one path for every person. I don’t believe we have our life set out for us. Like there is only one thing that we are supposed to do. We do have to freedom to choose, explore, guide ourselves, where our life leads us.
But that’s the thing, it is a choice. And how do you know what choice will feel good? I guess no one can really know. Not even me. That would mean there is a recipe or something to follow. And that’s boring. I don’t even do that in the kitchen. So why would I do that in my life?
This week for the Mentorship Mastermind we had to make a vision board. I made it. Perfectionism set aside. While working on it, I felt weird. Looking at it now, it still feels weird. It feels like this isn’t my life. My vision. The way it looks, it is an amazing life… but is it mine? Can it be mine? If I have all these things, will I be happy? Will I have ‘accomplished life’?
We all know those motivational quotes: Follow your heart. Listen to that inner voice. – But how the fuck do I do that? It’s not telling me anything! I can’t hear it! Go where your purpose leads you. Another one – what the fuck is my purpose?!
What I’m trying to say here: I don’t know what I want to do, how, when, or where. But I do know how I want to feel: I want to feel excited, I want to feel loved, I want to feel alive.
So yes. Follow your heart, listen to that inner voice. But don’t take it to literal like I do. Be intentional with your days, and your life. Find what lights you up, brings you joy and take steps towards that.
Let joy be your guide. Not your destination. Don’t be afraid to change your course. It’s not about the destination. It’s about the journey. Feeling excited, loved and alive, is not my destination. It’s a way of living. This is living.
What is your way of living?